being in yo’ feels: the real tea on being an empath

Flatbush, Brooklyn
the astrological wheel

It started happening more often, the bubbling over of the emotions. I would be working with a client, and I would feel nervous. Like, real life nerves that I couldn’t understand. What did I have to be nervous about? I remember having my first anxiety attack in college when I realized I was about to fail half of my classes. That was a valid reason for an anxious episode. But here I was, freaking out about a gig that was already in the bag? Why? Then it became that I would be on the phone with a friend and suddenly feel a tightness in my throat. Or an ache in my heart. Sometimes, my daughter would come in the room, and I would be awash with sadness.

Was I losing it?

As a type A personality, and a black female chef in a still very melanin lacking, old boys club industry, I learned very early on that I had to lead with the firm, unemotional face when working. When I was home, I would put my feelings to the side so that I could ensure that my only daughter had what she needed to survive and thrive. When my friends called, in need of the things, that face of friendship is what comes forward. Virgos like to be of service — and that is definitely me.

I say true empath because there is a distinct difference between having empathy for someone and being an empath.



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