(the following post is my marginally humorous, yet always accurate, sarcastic look at the world at large. please don’t email me and tell me about spelling errors or the date, and especially not my hot take. that’s what makes it a hot take. I promise you — I know, and it’s intentional. I will post the older versions of these diary entries as I go.)
December 86, 2020.
Maybe the 87th day. Iono. All the month days have begun to blur together, lol.
Here’s the latest update on the #FledCruz situation. Our esteemed senator from the Lone Star state was greeted upon his return by a mariachi band that followed him back to ensure that he matriculated back to his home country safely. They were joyously accompanied by people who wanted to hear more about his trip. Or maybe they were furious and cold. Yknow, what with the whole ass crisis in Tejas and all.
I wonder if the mariachi band makes other house calls?
The same Fled Cruz (because I’ll never call him Ted again — who came up with Fled, btw? I wanna send them a complimentary gift basket) then subsequently grilled the attorney general nominee with all of the bluster of a senator who sounds like he does his job. You gotta admire the new balls that he picked up on his shortened trip. Maybe he picked them up from Tijuana, after subsequently dropping his daughters off to safety. In Mexico.
Yeah…I tried. 🤷🏾♀️
In more interesting news on the national front, our esteemed former ex something or other was finally told by the Supreme Court that he so painstakingly tried to buy that yes, he must release his tax returns. Someone who cares — go check on ya boy. Just look for the little clear hands peeking around his golf course. Shouldn’t be hard to find.
In less important but equally sort of interesting news — Kim finally done left ‘Ye. The next album is finna be fire. Do we get to forgive him yet? Because I still dunno about the debacle with him and the ex whatever. I started to include an anecdote about Bobby Shmurda… but it turns out that ion really care that much about him.
Let’s see. Anything else happening that I didn’t include? Oh! Yes. The FBI and the CIA’s been all over the things lately — the FBI because of Judas and the Black Messiah (which I’m kinda halfway not really wanting to see because I already have the visions of when they killed Fred Hampton, but anyhoo), and the CIA, because they done declassified millions of UFO sighting reports. Someone check on the Aquarius and Aquarius rising delegation. They are anxiously awaiting the proof that they’ve been right all along about the aliens.
Check back in a week with me, Diary. I’m sure I can find more national (and some international) shenanigans to post about!