Grieving the Old You

Kimi Michelle
3 min readMar 25, 2021

One of my best friends described the current collective period that we are living in as “spring cleaning” and “tilling the soil”: getting rid of all of the old leaves and soil, to make way for the new buds in your life. Nothing could be truer — it’s all about the foundation…

But it’s also about death. Plain and simple.

Many of us may have noticed that a lot seems to be happening at once, particularly if you’ve been going through some growing pains in your life. It may feel like life as you know it has been coming apart at the seams. It may also feel like the world around us is also falling apart at the seams. The pandemic appears to be ending, and, with that, a “returning to normal” is happening, but not the normal we were looking forward to. The mass shootings are back. The horrible treatments are back.

It almost makes you wonder: is there going to be an end to any of this?

There will be. And it involves death — but not death in the manner that you may be thinking.

I mean, yes, there will be death, unfortunately. The way pandemics tend to flow are that there is a period of “hey, its all over” and people begin to take less precautions, and then the next wave of people become sick and some don’t make it. And that part is heartbreaking. There’s also the society at large, where people continue to people, and white men still terrorize the country and it gets labeled a “bad day”.

A terrorist is a terrorist is a terrorist. Period.

For that, there is a mass reckoning coming. That’s all I can say about that, right now. But that part isn’t the focus of this message — not yet.

Photo by Ralph (Ravi) Kayden on Unsplash

There is also the figurative ‘death’, and it’s the death that many of us are currently experiencing — and that is the death of beliefs, ideals, and actions that no longer serve us. It is the destruction of the shit that just isn’t working anymore. In many cases, it’s the things that we’re comfortable doing that no longer serve us, and we fight it EVERY STEP OF THE WAY.

It might be friendships that are long since expired.

Jobs that it’s BEEN time to leave.

Relationships that are over and done and literally decaying, but we hold on because “I done invested too many years in this for this not to work”.

Some of us are going to take a hard look at these things, and we’re going to separate ourselves from what doesn’t serve us anymore. And it’s going to hurt and we will grieve for some time. And that’s ok. You gotta get rid of the dead stuff in order for the new to grow.

Some of us are still afraid to let go. That’s ok, too. I will say that there is a reason that you are being pushed to do it now and not wait, though…because the next phase of growth is coming, and it becomes much harder after now. This is not to say, though, that you can’t let go at any point in time — so be gentle with yourself if you’re not ready.

Either way, this Spring in particular is a period of intense death and even more intense rebirth and growth. I’ve linked some of the articles above that speak more in depth about the astrological and spiritual reasons behind some of this shift, this death and rebirth. In a lot of ways, the past Spring Equinox is the true beginning of the New Year. With that, there’s always some resolutions that come from that — just in a much more intense way.

But this part of the shift is the most important part — and it’s coming in hot and heavy. It hurts now — but it will be so good when we’re done. Trust me.





Kimi Michelle

Change agent. Soca & rap junkie. BK Girl in Queens. Mom. Chef, Writer, & Psychic Medium. Chili oil obsessed. Trinidad & Barbados stand up.